I Chose The Freelance Life Yet It’s Still A Dog-Eat-Dog World
Where is the green grass meadows?
Many of us who lived or experienced life long enough may dream of a life where we live by our terms with a stable financial bank account.
I know I do.
For the last 15 years, I have unintentionally chosen the life of a freelancer/entrepreneur.
I started an e-commerce website, opened a physical showroom space, and became a freelance fitness and pilates instructor for women. I reinvented myself and became a user experience researcher, and now am a freelance writer with a couple of side hustles baking in the oven.
The main motivations behind this lifestyle are spurred by an innate driven personality, having freedom of my time and creativity, as well as my mental health.
I am also very fortunate to have the support of my family to pursue such a lifestyle. We aren’t well-to-do by any standards, but we get by. I supposed you can call us a middle-class household.
Because of the support I received from my family, I tend to put “pressure” on myself to succeed, whatever that may mean, to give them a more comfortable life.
15 years have passed and I honestly felt I have failed more times than succeed. The grind is real, they say.
Of late, I find myself rushing in life and projects. I kept telling myself that it was not the chaos that caused me to rush but my internal state of being.
I looked at Zen Buddhist monks who embody a ball of calmness, despite any external chaos that comes their way.
“It's just another manic Monday, I wish it was Sunday.” - The Bangles
In 2012, Dr. Libby Weaver gave her TedTalk on the Rushing Women’s Syndrome. She shared that the modern lifestyle with our digital devices that we lived in has overloaded women to be in a perpetual state of “go-go-go”.
Physiologically, this has an impact on the hormonal system, particularly the sympathetic system (a.k.a. the “fight-or-flight” system).
For those who aren’t aware, this fight-or-flight system is responsible for moving the body away from danger or towards an action to keep us alive.
Once the danger or action is over, the “sister” system - parasympathetic (a.k.a. “rest-and-digest” system) kicks in to bring our hormonal system back to equilibrium.
These are all part of the homeostasis that’s taking place in our bodies.
It is okay to have both systems fired up at the right times, the problem comes when one system is perpetually “on”, leading to overdrive, and subsequently, a possible shut-down.
Dr. Libby Weaver, a nutritional biochemist, shared how she has witnessed countless women living in this constant state of hormonal overdrive, that their livers, kidneys, gall bladders, adrenal glands, ovaries, brains, and digestive systems tanked.
When women are young, they feel this won’t impact so much. But as they get older, especially when approaching menopause, the accumulated impacts become even more pronounced, and impacts them the hardest.
This is also because other hormonal shifts are happening during menopause, primarily driven by a stop in ovulation which causes a drop in progesterone from the ovaries and its cascading effects on other hormones and brain neurotransmitters.
The rushing culture exists even in the creator’s world.
I am approaching 40 in a couple of years. Though I am not in my menopausal years, the peri-menopausal years are definitely hitting me.
I chose the freelancer's life to keep my mental health in check after seeing how many people often suffered for years due to toxic corporate cultures.
Yet what is surprising is that, in the freelance world, it is still somewhat a dog-eat-dog world. There are thousands, if not millions, of hungry freelancers vying with each other to land contracts, projects, and breakthrough success.
I wonder if this is a normal phase of a freelancer's life or if the mental blockers that prevent me from seeing something beyond?
Right now, all I know is I will get some deep 4-7-8 deep breathing and take long walks by the beach until my entire being is back to the present moment or I am down in the meadows where the green grass grows.
Help! I need your opinion.
Are you a freelancer?
Do you face something similar?
What strategies have you used that have helped you beat this freelance frenzy?
Till my next (soonest) post,
Yours,
Yan ❤️
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Looking forward to hearing from you. Have a great week ahead.
Life is never straight forward. Just when you thought you had it figured out, it gives you a slap on the face again.
Although I'm not a full-time freelancer I spend and ridiculous amount of time wishing I could figure out how to be. I was well on my way in 2020 before my crisis happened and that set me back to square one.
I'm very familiar with fight or flight though. I lived in a constant state of fight or flight for many years before losing my son and then suddenly, it all stopped and my body had no clue how to react. It's intriguing how our physical self adapts to our circumstances.